#maybe it'll give you even more of a lisp

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

SOLLUX: all ii want for twelfth periigee ii2 my two front teeth

[stinkysam]

Porco Galliard - Tongue

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : “what about porco getting a piercing instead of reader?” - anon

Reader : male (you/yours)

A/N : Part ONE

Porco listened as the piercer told him what he was going to do. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he didn't let it show. He looked at you from time to time, as if to reassure himself everything was going well.

He didn't even know why he was stressed. He went through worse at war, so a piercing shouldn't be that bad. He repeated to himself his titan abilities would make it heal quickly, and he won't even have to worry about infections or cleaning it, all he had to do was to keep it so the hole wouldn't close back. Yet he couldn't help it but get anxious about it even though you had told him about how it felt when you got your piercings done so he'd know what to expect.

He glanced at you as you stood quietly in the same room as them, you smiled at him before he turned his focus back on the piercer in front of him.

“You're going to disinfect your mouth. Take this mouthwash. For 10 seconds.” The man said, giving the glass to Porco who took it. He stared at you while cleaning his mouth before spitting it in the sink.

“I'm gonna take a 14 gauge barbell-”

“You can take a smaller size.” You said. “His tongue won't get swollen.” You continued with a smile as Porco nodded. The man eyed him.

“Right. The jaw titan…” He said, taking a smaller size as you told him, and disinfected it as well.

“Stick your tongue out, please.” The man said and Porco did as asked. He placed a paper towel on it to dry it a bit before looking at his tongue, making some measurements, to finally put a mark on it.

“Keep your tongue out.” He said, taking off his gloves to put on another pair and grabbing his clamps, carefully placing it on Porco's tongue and squeezing it quite a bit. It wasn't painful, but definitely uncomfortable.

Porco looked at you when he saw the needle approach, but the piercer didn't give him much time to stress more as he pushed the needle in his tongue. You saw Porco's eyes twitch in pain before the man put on the piercing, removing the needle.

And voila.

“You can close your mouth.” He said, taking another paper towel to wipe Porco's chin, telling him the procedure to take care of it.

“I won't need it.” Porco says, cutting him off, grimacing. He can feel it in his mouth. “It'll heal in a matter of minutes.”

“Oh, right. Right.” The man said, throwing away what was needed and cleaning the rest. Then you went to his desk and paid him before walking out, waving the piercer goodbye.

“Let me see your tongue.” You said, stopping in front of him. It has already healed, some steam leaving his mouth.

“Cute.” You grinned, caressing his jaw and chin. Porco closed his mouth, blushing a bit.

“Does it still hurt ?” You asked, grabbing his hand.

“Nah.”

“Lucky.” You grimaced. You remember the headache you felt for your bridge.

“I can feel it in my mouth. It's weird.” He said, playing with it a bit.

You hummed, pushing his hand in your hoodie’s front pocket, holding it with both your hands.

“Since your tongue won't swell, you might not have a lisp.”

“I better not.” He said, getting annoyed at the idea of getting a lisp. He would sound dumb, and that's not in his plans. “Or I take it off.”

“You did good, though.” You said with a snort and kissed his cheek. He said nothing for a moment, taking your compliment in before looking away, hiding his slightly red cheeks.

“Obviously. I've had worse.” He managed to let out.

“I know. But still.” You squeezed his hand and he did it right back, his pulse quickening at your affection as you placed your head on his shoulder, still walking.

“Will you show the others ?”

“No.” He said, before thinking for a moment. “Maybe Pieck. But I don't want people to know. I don't want my superiors to make me take it off.”

You hummed, nodding, kissing his shoulder, your thumb stroking his hand, and his grip on yours tightened.

“Normally, after a tongue piercing you can't do oral for a while.” You smirked, looking at him while wiggling your eyebrows. “Thanks to the jaw you can still suck my di-.”

“I can also bite it off.” He glanced at you, smiling innocently.

“I'd rather not, thank you.” You replied with a laugh, moving your head away from his shoulder but Porco pulled it back where it was, making you smile.

“Were you stressed ?”

“No. I told you, I went through worse.”

“Liar. I've seen you glance at me each time he said something. Or when he pulled the big needle.” You nudged him with your shoulder and Porco said nothing, looking away, slightly embarrassed. You chuckled, squeezing his hand.

“You're putting something in your body, of course you're gonna stress about it. I stressed for all of mine even though I knew how it felt.”

You felt Porco hesitate, wanting to say something but deciding against it.

“What is it ?” You asked.

“I'm the jaw, I shouldn't stress about it.” He admitted begrudgingly, looking away.

“You're still human, Porco. I would worry for your health if you didn't stress about anything, ever.”

“Not stressing doesn't mean being careless.”

“You know you have a tendency to be overconfident, right ?” You say, looking at him and he frowned. “That can be dangerous for you.”

“I just know my abilities, I worked hard for them.” He huffed, taking his hand away from you to cross his arms.

“A little stress does no harm, Porco. I'm serious.” You locked your arm with his so he wouldn't pull away too much. “It's natural to second guess yourself at times. Even for something as small as a piercing is for you. Yes, you've had worse pain, it won't get infected or cause more health issues, if you don't want it you can just take it off and the hole is gone in a second-”

“That's why I shouldn't need to stress about it.” He said.

“But you're human and you don't want to regret doing it and you know your parents aren't big fans. So it plays into it.”

“How do you know my parents aren't into it ?” He raises an eyebrow, finally looking at you.

“Oh please. Not a lot of parents like their child getting pierced. Do you think mine were happy with my septum ? Or snake bites ? Or bridge ?”

“You even have tattoos, they should get used to it.” He scoffed.

“Do you think your parents are used to you getting hurt even though you have the jaw ? Knowing people are shooting at you with the biggest of weapons ? Their only remaining child ? They never get used to it. Even for something as small as a piercing.”

He said nothing for a moment, not wanting to admit you were right.

“It's not really the same but… I see what you mean.”

“Even for you stressing a bit ?” You nudged him, smiling.

“Don't push your luck. I still think I shouldn't have stressed.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes, pulling him closer as you continued walking. Your place was in sight.

“Well, I still think it's normal.”

“I don't.”

“Oh please, I'm sure all the warriors would've stressed as well.”

“Don't dream. Maybe Reiner because he's a crybaby but not the others.” He said with a smile.

“Even Pieck would've stressed a bit.” You begin. “Sieg would make the piercer stressed with all his questions.” Porco nodded and you continued. “Reiner, yeah, definitely stressed about it. Colt too.”

“Yeah, totally.” He snorted, imagining Colt and Reiner's stressed faces.

“So you didn't do too bad compared to them.”

“No, I guess not…” He admitted after a moment, feeling embarrassed.

“Come on, you did good ! You could've backed away at the sight of the needle but you didn't ! Or you could've pushed him when you felt it against your tongue, but again, you didn't !” You grabbed him, shaking him.

“Stop that.” He said, a smile tugging at his lips.

“No ! Admit it, say it ! You did good !”

“I don't need to.” He said, trying to stop his cheeks for reddening. But you insisted.

“I need to hear you say it.” You continued, placing both hands on his shoulders. Forehead against forehead.

“Alright, alright. I… did good.” He finally said quietly, looking away. He could feel his cheeks get warmer in embarrassment, even his ears turned red.

“Yeah !” You yelled, grabbing his hands and throwing them in the air. He sighed, rolling his eyes as you intertwined your fingers together.

“No need to make noise about it…”

“I don't care. You did good.” You grinned, happy.

He hummed before walking once again, holding your hand.

[cator99]

Todd is what happens when you spoil your low IQ failson well into his 30s and think "Well maybe if I give him a job where he has to know what he's doing and have people rely on him for direction then it'll whip him into gear"..... no... at that point it's too fucking late... have some mercy and just put him down... my god....... he spent the past 2 days begging the women on our team who make $6 less than him per hour to do his job for him because he hasn't the faintest idea what to do. And what choice does everyone else have? If they didn't step up and become the unofficial team-leads, then who would? If they don't read the specifications and directions and then delegate tasks, nothing would get done, an no one would get paid. Then, once everyone else has sorted themselves out and made a game plan, he just stares at us, or "analyzes" our work. Sometimes he joins in on doing the work– as team leads are supposed to do– but mostly he just pretends to be doing things, or works on things at an excruciatingly slow pace. This is a man who was flown out from BC 8 weeks ago to work on projects here, on the other side of the country. His entire trip is being paid for by the company- including his airbnb & food etc. And he gets weekends off. This is basically a vacation in one of the only worthwhile cities in Canada, yet he mostly just spends his time complaining about this city being gross and full of homeless people and "too big". God I cant even remember what he looks like at this point and it hasn't even been 2 hours since I left work. He's so forgettable. From what I can recall he resembles a more dim-witted-looking "Dr Todd Grande" (the youtuber), with a much more whiney voice and the echo of a losing battle against a lisp that one could only imagine used to be much worse and that his parents sunk thousands into trying to wholly eliminate with speech therapy. His shoulders are narrow, arms limp, belly wide and flabby, hanging bulbously over two chicken legs. Todd.